Emptiness my world

As I look down at the scars on my arm I wonder why but I'am the one who puts them there because I no longer fear to press the blade hard and drag it against my skin. There is no pain just the feeling of being freed from the world of emptiness I put myself in. I drag the blade against my skin because I have hurt so many people I once loved around me. No matter how much they love me I can't love them back no matter how much I try I'am unable to show my feelings back. It seams that I have been hurt to many times by the ones who say they love me. That is why I'am afraid to love anyone back and it has been so long since I have showen feelings for someone that I don't remeber how to show my love to them. So I drag the blade hard against my skin to free myself from this world of emptiness that I have created to stop myself from being hurt but in the end it only made it worse.